Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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