Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize