5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
