How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
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Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize