if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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