Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
even my farts smell like vagina
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
