You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
