Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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