so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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