Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
