Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize