why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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