I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
