At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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