Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
