I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
