Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
