i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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