youre lurking in front of me
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
