Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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