It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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