I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize