no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
