just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
