we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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