We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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