the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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