You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just invented taco cereal.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize