I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Be still, my beating vagina.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
