we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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