he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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