I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
