Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
