morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
