i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize