I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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