What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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