so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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