Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
