I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
