I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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