So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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