just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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