Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just gift wrapped bread.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
