im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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