You really coming over, don't trick.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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