First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
