perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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