Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
