I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize