i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
