Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
