Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
