Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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