So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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