Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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