dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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