It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
