he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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